Each day, thousands of acres of rainforest are destroyed in ecologically sensitive areas. In light of our successful "Adopt a Family" program, I decided to affiliate LPL with the "Adopt a Rainforest" program in order to further outreach into the community (all tax shelter benefits were completely incidental). Startlingly and unexpectedly, the acre of Peruvian rainforest we adopted was delivered to the Kuiper Space Sciences Building late last night.

One benefit of the presence of an oxygen-producing environment in our atrium is that we no longer need the air handlers. However, this benefit is perhaps offset by the special dietary needs of the jaguars. I am sure we need not remind you that the university contracts you have all signed obligate you to protect these magnificent animals, which fill a previously unoccupied niche in the fragile laboratory ecosystem.

On a related note, this should encourage everyone to redouble their efforts in encouraging undergraduate enrollment in PTYS classes.