Here it is at last... The tee shirt design for the 1996 Bratfest, "Geochemical and Microfossil Evidence for Early Bratfest on Mars," presented at the 1st meeting of the American Gastronomical Society Division of Planetary Sausages.
(Just wait'll we get around to writing a bogus paper... You'll be sorry.)
The front design, pictured below, depicts Fig.1, "Rare-food abundances for HH-96001 normalized to the CI carbonaceous chondrite Orgueil." Note the whacking great Europium anomaly. This sample is otherwise clearly enriched in traditional Bratfest food elements, ie., Saladium-P, Butterium, Cheesium, Cornium, Krautium, Beerium, and Bratium.
The back design shows an actual 20 GV electron micrograph taken of HH-96001. The caption reads, "Electron micrograph of putative Bratfest inclusion shows microfossil remnants of an early, prehistoric Martian Bratfest."
This evidence cannot be ignored! There was an early Bratfest on Mars!
The tee shirts are printed on one of two shirt colors. The first is a mostly-neutral, off-white, light beige, putative 'natural' color. The second is a rather nice stone-washed, mottled red color. It's light enough that the black ink will actually show up on it. (Technically, it's not really 'stone' washed. It's 'sand' washed, which results in a much cooler texture.)
Wow, is this nerdy! We've taken the liberty of preparing a special Adobe Acrobat PDF version of the tee shirt design! Holy cow! You can download it right now, print it out, pin it to your shirt, and pretend that you already have your BratWear! Your friends will be envious.
Download the PDF file!
One small note, however. Do not use this PDF for evil, or we'll come after you. Read the readme note, which is built into the file.
If you don't have Adobe Acrobat Reader, you can download it from Adobe Systems Incorporated today!
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