This ditty was a sing-a-long. The words were displayed karaoke-style, as the crowd sang along.

Cosmochem
Keller, J., Lennon, J., & McCartney, P. (2002)
To the tune of "Penny Lane".
LPL Christmas Skits

Cosmochem, there's a professor teaching his first core
He's over zealous with the homework we know
To Antarctica did Dante go
Hunting rocks in snow.

In 312 we learn to classify our meteorites:
CI, CM, CR, CO, CV, CK.
Listed here by petrologic grade
Carbonaceous eh? Very strange!

Cosmochem, pre-solar grains and CAIs
Where from dying stars do they arise?
1800 K, corundrums intact.

In LPL, there is a chemist with a microscope
And in his pocket is a portrait of McSween
He likes to keep his microprobe quite clean
It's a Kring machine!

S.     N.     C.
SNC - They all come from Mars!

Cosmochem, it's pidgeonite found in eucrites
A match in HEDs and Vesta lies
See their spectra, ask Mike Drake

At the table on the floor above the atrium,
We find the first years trapped at night in Dante's hell
And though fugacity is hard to tell,
They just use Excel.

Cosmochem, a rubidium turns into a strontium
A beta particle and neutrino fly away
And the half life of this decay
49 Ga, what's lambda anyway?

Cosmochem, mare basalts are high in KREEP
Makes magma oceans less of a leap
Look at Europium reduced like that!

Cosmochem is in our ears and in our eyes.
Rocks that teach of stars up in the skies.
Cosmochem.