Cartmaster (David Trilling) pushes plastic moving cart down the grad student strip mall, starting at the gantry end of the hall. Scene is one of grad students overworked, underpaid, overstressed, and dying in squalor amid a lack of funding. Each office has its dead.

The cart-master chants wearily as they trudge along: Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! etc. while beating occasionally on a large something with something else.

As each person comes forward with his or her dead officemate, they throw them on the cart.

Chris Schaller comes out with Jon Pedicino slung over his shoulder. He starts to put him on the cart.

• Chris: Here's one-

• Jon: (feebly) I'm not dead!

• Cart-master: (suprised) What?

• Chris: Nothing! Nothing at all!

• Jon: I'm not dead!

• Cart-master: 'Ere! 'E says 'e's not dead!

• Chris: Yes he is.

• Jon: I'm not!

• Cart-master: 'E isn't?

• Chris: Well... he will be soon-- his funding's been cut...

• Jon: But I've passed my orals, finished my Journal Clubs, funding is sure to get better!

• Chris: No it won't, and you'll be stone dead in a moment.

• Cart-master: I can't take 'im like that! It's against regulations!

• Jon: I don't want to go on the cart....

• Chris: Oh, don't be such a baby.

• Cart-master: I can't take 'im....

• Jon: I feel fine!

• Chris: Well, do us a favor...

• Cart-master: I can't!

• Chris: Can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long...

• Cart-master: No, gotta get to Journalism today, they've lost the whole department.

• Chris: Well, when's your next round?

• Cart-master: Thursday.

• Jon: I think I'll go reduce some data....

• Chris: You're not fooling anyone, you know-- (to Cart-master) Look, isn't there something you can do...?

(they both look around)

• Jon: I feel happy! I feel happy!

(the Cart-master deals the Jon a swift blow to the head with a MARS Space Science Book. Jon goes limp.)

• Chris:(throwing the Jon onto the cart) Ah. thanks very much.

• Cart-master: Not at all. See you on Thursday!

• Chris: Right! All right....

• Cart-master: Bring out your dead! etc.... (pushes cart down hall)