Video Skits

Church of Chyba

Yellowstone picture with voiceover: "Are you searching for the meaning of life?"
Chris Chyba recites definitions of life

Instant Advisor Crystals

Rachel: "I'm new here, how do I get one of those advisors?"
Andy: pops into scene Try new Instant Advisor Crystals. Just add water!
*poof* Bob Brown appears
Chris Schaller talks about new product and applications, like when your advisor is on sabatical, in Antarctica, or just face-down in a gutter s omewhere.
Barb: shows graph to pile of crystals on Tim's desk.
Voice offscreen: "Barb, you need to add water!"
Nancy and Windy: But we don't have any water. What if we use beer?
*poof* Mike Drake appears. "Vesta is the eucrite parent body!"

Impact Catering

Party scene in atrium
Students: Here's the caterer!
Jay : gleefully pegs students with donuts from 5th floor
Voiceover : From the publisher of the bestseller Dyanamics comes the new book, Impact Catering!
Jay : drops eggs off the gantry, eggs land in frying pan Cooking with potential energy!
Jay: in lab stirring with wooden spoon Acoustic Fluidization!
Voiceover: Bake Jay's famous KT cake--the secret ingredient is iridium! To order, call GRADCO at 1-800-U-FAKE-IT!

Be all that you can be

Scene of atrium, faculty member walks into classroom, army of grad students charges classroom
Closeups of Grad Students
Voiceover: Grad School: It's not just a job, it's an indenture.

Pirlheart

Alfred: is painted blue with plaid material on. Lots of students in PIRL.
Alfred: walks into PIRL.
Students: whispering It's Alfred McEwen! No, he's not tall enough. I heard Alfred McEwen has seven spacecraft! Wow! etc.
Alfred: Children of Pirl, I am Alfred McEwen of clan McEwen!. As you know, Robert the Strom has a competing proposal in the current Discovery cycle. There can be only one successful proposal! Are you willing to fight for your funding?!?!
Ralph: But Robert the Strom has too many images! How can we compete?
Alfred: An' what would ye do wi'out funding? Sure, s ome of you may die, maybe even most of you. But years from now, when you're working at Burger King, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they can take our lives, but they'll never take our funding!!
Students: get up and yell, pull weapons out from under seats, storm the Imagery Center, with Bob and Mary inside.