Senior Research Scientist Promotions
Date: Tue, 01 Apr 2003 00:32:31 -0700 From: Michael J. Drake PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOnFlbnhyQHljeS5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaCI+cWVueHJAeWN5Lm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoPC9uPg==> To: PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+ Subject: [alllpl] Senior Research Scientist Promotions To: Faculty, Staff, Postdocs, and Students From: The Head and Director Re: Senior Research Scientist Positions As many of you know, our department has been considering a number of internal candidates for promotion to the position of Senior Research Scientist. Last fall, these candidates gave colloquia describing their current research. Unfortunately, since then budget issues had been high priority and it was not until yesterday that our faculty met and evaluate the applicants. Since the Senior Research Scientist positions are soft money positions, and thus are a minimal cost to the department, we have decided to make offers to two individuals. However, due to the disappointment the faculty had as a whole for the applicants, none of them made the cut. Instead, our faculty have decided to make offers to those current members of the Department of Planetary Sciences who have given the most impressive and recent research talks: Drs. Paul Withers and Devon Burr. Due to the expected increased participation of LPL in Mars research over the next few years, these two candidates will make excellent additions to the faculty. Devon will be given an office next to PIRL, and thus will not be far from where she had previously worked. Paul will be given room 501B, Ralph Lorenz's current office. Ralph can find the contents of his office in a box in the mail room and can do with it what he pleases. -Michael J. Drake.\ PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi9xZW54ckB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPi9xZW54ckB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+>
Steward Observatory Regime Change
Date: Tue, 01 Apr 2003 00:54:38 -0700 From: Joan Weinberg PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOndqcnZhb3JlQHljeS5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaCI+d2pydmFvcmVAeWN5Lm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoPC9uPg==> To: PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+, PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eWZncmpuZXFAbmYubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eWZncmpuZXFAbmYubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+ Subject: [alllpl] Steward Observatory Regime Change To: PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eWZncmpuZXFAbmYubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eWZncmpuZXFAbmYubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+, PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+ From: PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOmhjcW5ncmZAbmZmYnB2bmdycWNlcmZmLmJldCI+aGNxbmdyZkBuZmZicHZuZ3JxY2VyZmYuYmV0PC9uPg== Re: Call for Regime Change at Steward Observatory In a speech prior to today's colloquium at the Lunar and Planetary Laboratory, Head and Director Michael J. Drake sharply denounced the tyrannical regime of Peter Strittmatter as head of the Steward Observatory at the University of Arizona. Drake said that unless Strittmatter stops research into Astrophysics of Mass Destruction and agrees to resign from power and be exiled to Psychology within 48 hours, LPL would lead a coalition of the willing to disarm him. Steward is in violation of GPSC resolution #1441 that it immediately cease research into deadly Astrophysical Events of Mass Destruction. GPSC inspections of SO computers have revealed disturbing, official research into such dangerous topics as supernovae, black holes, and quasars. A supernova within 100 light-years of the solar system would likely extinguish all multicelluar life on Earth. "We will not allow the University's most dangerous department to threaten the planet with the universe's most dangerous astrophysical events," Drake said. LPL recently lost the vote on a GPSC resolution to disarm Strittmatter peacefully when the French department irrationally vetoed all resolutions put forward. The French department has proposed an alternative plan whereby SIRTF would be placed on an Ariane 5G to be blown up, thus thwarting Steward's ambitious future plans. Tens of SO's elite 'Republican Grad' troops came over to LPL to surrender today. However, they were informed that they weren't qualified to be admitted to this department, and were turned away. Drake has implored the Steward undergraduates to rise up to fight the repressive Strittmatter rule, but there is no evidence of any rebellion yet. Steward Observatory has shown callous disregard for its own subjects, having used chemical weapons (rat poison) in repressing a rebellion by ethnic Red Squirrels in 1988. "Such madness must be stopped!" Drake proclaimed at a recent meeting to rally his faculty. In case hostilities begin, a number of reporters from the Daily Wildcat have been embedded inside Steward Observatory. They will provide day-to-day updates as events unfold. PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi93anJ2YW9yZUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPi93anJ2YW9yZUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+>
Scientist Investigates Meteorite
Date: Tue, 01 Apr 2003 01:24:34 -0700 From: Joan Weinberg PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOndqcnZhb3JlQHljeS5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaCI+d2pydmFvcmVAeWN5Lm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoPC9uPg==> To: PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+ Subject: [alllpl] Scientist Investigates Meteorite Joan: Could you please forward this great publicity that reflects well on the department to alllpl? Thank you! - Dave -------------------------------------------------------------- UA Scientist Investigates Meterorite University of Arizona Press Release Dr. David Kring, University of Arizona Professor of Planetary Sciences and also a member of the geosciences faculty, researcher at the Lunar and Planetary Laboratory, head of the university's Space Imagery Center, and Principal Investigator of a new Astrobiology grant, recently published a paper about meteorite Northwest Africa 482 (NWA482) in the prestigious journal _Meteoritics_and_Planetary_Science_. The paper has been called "a scientific tour-de-force with fundamental implications for all mankind" by NASA administrator Sean O'Keefe. Dr. Kring took time out of his busy schedule (he has 3 graduate students and one postdoc to nurture, as well as teaching classes, doing cutting-edge research, and bagging massive research grants) to talk to us about these exciting developments. "What we have done is looked at this [meteorite] in a little more detail," said Kring. The researcher found that "the Earth may have reached temperatures of 500 degrees Fahrenheit." This discovery is deeply meaningful for most Americans, and has brought prestige to the University of Arizona's Department of Planetary Science, where Dr. Kring is a professor. In fact, with exciting discoveries like this one, Dr. Kring's 2000 Science paper on the Lunar Cataclysm and his 1998 JGR paper on Chixulub modeling, this up-and-coming professor will likely be promoted to Head and Director within 10 years. (Dr. Kring performed this work in association with graduate student Ingrid J. Daubar, who is the lead author of the article). PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi93anJ2YW9yZUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPi93anJ2YW9yZUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+>
Faculty Sponsorships
Date: Tue, 01 Apr 2003 02:26:50 -0700 From: Michael J. Drake PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOnFlbnhyQHljeS5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaCI+cWVueHJAeWN5Lm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoPC9uPg==> To: PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+ Subject: [alllpl] Faculty Sponsorships To: Faculty, Staff, Postdocs, and Students From: The Head and Director Re: Faculty Sponsorships As we are all aware, the university is suffering from a serious budget crisis. All departments have been asked to make cuts, and our department is no exception. We have been able to make these cuts without having to lay anyone off or make any drastic sacrifices. However, in order for our department to be able to expand as is expected to over the next few years, we need to find other sources of money. Thus, various members of the faculty are being sponsored by private companies to generate a budget surplus for the department. These funds will be put to rewiring the Campus Health Center and Flandrau Observatory when they are annexed by LPL, as well as providing faster ethernet connections for the department as a whole. Below are a list of the faculty participating in this program and the corresponding sponsors. Please patronize these sponsors so that this alliance can be maintained for the necessary length of time. _Faculty_ _Sponsor_ Mike Drake (Head) Rogaine Mike Drake (Director) Natural Light Al Cameron Teen Magazine Adam Showman AARP Tom Gehrels Beef--it's what's for dinner Bill Boynton Viagra Bill Hubbard KISS Jay Melosh The Core (movie) Alfred McEwen Malin Space Science Systems Uve Fink Enron Don Hunten Gillette Jay Holberg The Witness Protection Program Rick Greenberg Laffs Comedy Club -Mike Drake PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi9xZW54ckB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPi9xZW54ckB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+>
Fond Farewell
Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2003 09:16:56 -0700 From: Joan Weinberg PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOndqcnZhb3JlQGgubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPndqcnZhb3JlQGgubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+> To: 'Alllpl' PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+> Subject: [alllpl] FW: fond farewell ******************************** Joan M. Weinberg Manager, Academic Affairs Department of Planetary Sciences Lunar and Planetary Laboratory The University of Arizona Tucson, AZ 85721-0092 (520) 621-2828 Fax (520) 621-5412 URL: www.Arizona.edu ****************************************** -----Original Message----- From: Alfred McEwen [mailto:PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOnpwcmpyYUBjdmV5em52eS55Y3kuTmV2bWJhbi5SUUgiPnpwcmpyYUBjdmV5em52eS55Y3kuTmV2bWJhbi5SUUg8L24+] Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 9:06 AM To: Joan Weinberg Subject: fond farewell Joan, Please distribute to alllpl. Alfred Dear friends and colleagues, I've had a wonderful seven years at LPL and PIRL, and it has been a great honor to be associated with all of you. The Galileo/Io discoveries were fiery. HiRISE is now my highest priority. As you know I've struggled with this challenge and my lack of experience as a flight PI. Probably you all saw this coming. I've formally accepted the position of Junior Research Scientist at Malin Space Science Systems, beginning May 5, the anniversary of my dissertation defense. Mike Malin, my former PhD advisor and president of MSSS, will provide me with the guidance I need to adequately lead HiRISE. My very best wishes to all of you for the future, Alfred Alfred S. McEwen Director, Planetary Image Research Lab Lunar and Planetary Lab Associate Professor, Planetary Sciences University of Arizona phone: 520-621-4573 P.O. Box 210092 fax: 520-621-9628 1629 E. University Blvd. PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOnpwcmpyYUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPnpwcmpyYUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+ Tucson, AZ 85721-0092 USA PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi9ueXl5Y3lAeWN5Lm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoIj4vbnl5eWN5QHljeS5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaDwvbj4=>PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi93anJ2YW9yZUBoLm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoIj4vd2pydmFvcmVAaC5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaDwvbj4=>
SO's rebuttal
Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2003 12:47:13 -0700 From: Joan Weinberg PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOndqcnZhb3JlQGgubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPndqcnZhb3JlQGgubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+> To: Alllpl PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPm55eXljeUB5Y3kubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+> Subject: [alllpl] SO's rebuttal -------- Original Message -------- From: Chris Impey PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOnZ6Y3JsQG1yYWIubmYubmV2bWJhbi5ycWgiPnZ6Y3JsQG1yYWIubmYubmV2bWJhbi5ycWg8L24+> To: PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOnBxdm5tZnZ5aW5AbXJhYi5uZi5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaCI+cHF2bm1mdnlpbkBtcmFiLm5mLm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoPC9uPg== ----- Begin Included Message ----- NOAO/KPNO/NSO, DEPARTMENT OF ASTRONOMY AND STEWARD OBSERVATORY AND NRAO The University of Arizona <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> SPECIAL COLLOQUIUM <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> DR. COLIN POWELL U.S. Secretary of State, on leave at Steward Observatory "A New Hegemony in the Universe" Abstract: According to current cosmological theories, the fundamental basis of the universe is a single super-force, located in Steward Observatory. This has even been acknowledged by the maverick theorists of LPL, who are poorly placed to understand global forces since they only study tiny bits of rock. In this talk, the outline of a new world order will be presented. In accordance with the ideal of multilateralism, hegemony of the entire solar system will be ceded to LPL, leaving the remaining 99.9999999999999999999999999% of the universe to Steward Observatory. Tuesday, April 1, 2003 4:00 p.m. Steward Observatory Lecture Hall Room N210 ****Refreshments at 3:30PM in the Lobby**** ----- End Included Message ----- PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi92emNybEBtcmFiLm5mLm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoIj4vdnpjcmxAbXJhYi5uZi5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaDwvbj4=>PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi9ueXl5Y3lAeWN5Lm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoIj4vbnl5eWN5QHljeS5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaDwvbj4=>PG4gdWVycz0iem52eWdiOi93anJ2YW9yZUBoLm5ldm1iYW4ucnFoIj4vd2pydmFvcmVAaC5uZXZtYmFuLnJxaDwvbj4=>
The memos were really flying this year. Mike Drake announced the promotion of Devon and Paul to the long-vacant Senior Research Scientist positions (email). Steward Observatory suffered a regime change (email). Dave Kring issued another press release (email). Mike Drake announced industrial sponsorships for certain faculty (email). Even Alfred McEwen joined in (email).
Steward tried to send a rebuttal email to alllpl, but couldn't even work out how to use the mailing list. Dummies.
Some posters related to the sponsorship were put up around the atrium. Does anyone have pictures of that?
Steward put some LPL/Agriculture merger posters around the building. Didn't we do that to them last year? Continued delays to SIRTF led to the discovery of the corpse of SIRTF over by Steward. The cleaners got to that one pretty quickly.